The McDonald's Games
by swagnuggets
Summary: When Marina the Chicken McNuggets addict is chosen for the hunger games everything goes
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

I'm swagging through the village in my district . Namely district 11 . But I much prefer to call it District Nuggets . Oh how I love nevertheless nuggets . Chicken McNuggets . Nuggets in the morning . Nuggets in the evening . Nuggets in the orchards . Nuggets everywhere . I have lived all my life in this place and I would never want to leave because of the McDonalds next to where I live. Well you you may wonder if it is not strange that I still have such a wonderful body where 23 people would die for. Before Oh well , you have it or you do not. And nuggets have it all. Oh well , today is reaping day and I that means another day without nuggets and without bbq sauce sauce because that is all eaten by the peacekeepers . Best odd because they are more the type of a Big Mac . I think the Big Mac is often somewhat overestimated . But hey who am I to judge . Oh I have not introduced myself yet . I am Marina MKnevel . I live with my 13 brothers and sisters in a small house on the prairie next to McDonalds .

5 minutes later

I sniff some bbq sauce and im making my way downtown Walking fast Faces pass and im homeboudn . I 'm almost in the city where they go Draw lots for whom it can do with the hunger games . It is not my personal favorite show , because there are never nuggets. And let's face it : WHAT DO YOU DO WITHOUT NUGGETS . Luckily I buy every year discount cards for food during the hunger games and then I go to the course to mac . duh .

5 minutes later

'' Marina MKnevel . '' I hear someone calling my name , but I ignore it because I 'm chewing on a nugget . SUDDEN DROP MY NUGGETS ON THE GROUND WHILE TWO SOMEWHAT THICK ARMS GRAB ME . ' neneeeeeeeeeneeneijhkeneeeee '' I scream while I'm trying to catch da nuggets with my feet. But it's too late . Cunt . I am brought up and Spartel a bit in the round ( Like that time a fat woman for me pushed me out of the way at mcdonalds . I notice that everyone is staring at me . Is there bbq sauce on my shirt ? ? ? I start to panic. I swallow very hard and I realise I have been choosen to play in the hunger games. Oh wait , the hunger game, s now I'm even more panicked . They have no nuggets ! ! ! and certainly no sauce , not even chili sauce. Another name is called: '' Bolbi Onion Rings'' I just stare at the person who walks on stage and all I can think is: ,. . wHO iS tHE FACK BOLBI . Bolbi walks up to me and gives me a handshake . a friendly handshake . THEN sUDDENLY I REMEMBER iT . I know this person . I will always know this person . I will know him when I forget my mother's face . one day , that I had forgotten to take them money to McDonalds He stood in the doorway . he was twerking while he looked at me deeply. then he began to scatter nuggets with I felt so much euphoria . I ran home , twice I fell into the ditch , and told my mother . That was it. I will never forget it . the date will forever be on my twitter page. But yeah to the matter , I HAVE to go tHE ARENA iN . I faint .

Twenty minutes later

I'm in a train with the bolbi . Everywhere around me is food. BUT NO NUGGETS . WIEHEHEOEOEEEEEEEEEEE . I find I 'm having a stroke . I fall back faint oops .

I'm slowly wake upu again and see that a third person is now in the train . I heard something on here ever ever . Until now I thought it was a myth , it appeared only in fairy tales .

''CAN I HAVE YOUR SIGNATURE '' The boss of mcdonalds staring at me with a sheepish look.

'' gurl, you know that you will soon die hard , what good is a signature ? ''

'' But you 're here to rescue me'', I ask hopefully .

'' Gurl , deep in your heart you know there 's nothing I can do ... to deliver … you chicken nuggets.''

I fall again faint .

uw.


	2. Chapter 2

Where am I ? I feel something burning and slowly open my eyes . ThE FUCK this is the sun. It seems like a thousand suns by my train window . I realize that I 'm on my way to the Capitol to get myself ready for the 71th Hunger Games . Shizzle . I dreamed about just yet fine nuggets . I ran through a meadow and nuggets flew all around me , everything seemed perfect until suddenly frietsaus ABOUT MY fricking NUGGETS CAME . Then some wierd girl was singing to me about a meadow and a willow while she threw Mc Wraps at me? Nightmares will be something which I will have to live with the coming weeks. Ironic that they call it the hungry games as I always am hungry . In nuggets . Always .

I scratch my toe just to my nostrils . I get up and walk to the shower to . I pull back the curtain and suddenly bolbi look straight into me eyes under the shower and is able to smear with something similar to an ice cream mc flurry . I cry hard and fall to the ground in the fetal position . . I roll infinity. And beyond. I roll up to the next compartment . When I get up and want to start crying because of the horrible body bolbi has , I look out the window . I SEE THE FUCKING Capitol omfg . I grab my blackberry to use to make picture of the green poodles that I see walking on the street nearby. Pica After I shot three pictures and they want to place the tags #NoFilter #nomakeup #lotsofswag on instagram and I realize that it is not poodles it are human . People who raise their middle finger at me . Wow, that's an ancient gesture jesus christ . I look at my blackberry and see that my range is not working . Meanwhile the people indicates an angry mob with pitchforks and torches to my blackberry curve. Do they not like curves or something . I shake my hips to see if they are not lying . Nope . My hips never lie . I turn around and see me for something horrible . Something worse than chicken nuggets that are sold . Bolbi hangs half naked out the window to wave at the poodle people . I start to cry and run hard away . The last thing I hear is the voice of our mentor who says bolbi 's game is quite strong.

Thirty times I blink my eyes and think of my family . I think of how they are now in front of the telly. Oh man what I would have liked it if they would die instead of me. But ynope the uggs ( or was it odds ) are never in my fuck swag duckling favour . Well , at least i look fabulous in this hot pants . I wipe away a tear with the homemade pillow that my sister gave me when she came to say goodbye and throw it into the fire . I see it crackle like a nugget . I love nuggets. I walk to the buffet and walk on the table and do the macarena . So, that's weather . I will have to live without nuggets . This is the . This is the end . This is ALMOST as bad as when the band Two Erections disbanded (they were slain by the Capitol ) . I get some choclety milkshake and think again about nuggets . Chicken McNuggets . I miss them so much . I would be able to write a haiku about the, nuggets.

I love chicken mc nuggets .  
I fucking fucking love them .  
They are my love life .

I think there is no world without nuggets . And then something snapped inside me . Deep inside me. Deeper than a tampon. I run to the last car and head hanging over the railing . I'm going to jump off the edge . I count to nine . ( I always order 9 nuggets .} Just when I want to jump I hear a voice . Bolbi . Dangit .

'' Do not let go Marina . You have so much to live for . Like your hips . They never lied to you . ''

'' How do you know ? ''

'' I just know . It is a kind of gift . I've had it since I was born . ''

'' Oh. But my life is still so empty without them nuggets . '' I swallow so hard I forget how to breathe .

'' IF YOU JUMP I JUMP . '' He suddenly screams . Frick.

'' I WILL NEVER LET GO BOLBI ! ! '' I scream as I want to climb back over the railing . He grabs mi arms and pulls me over .

Now Bolbi and I have a strong connection . I 'm confused . I decide to go back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 (this is a short one im soi sorry im very bizzy)

I have just undergone a brazilian wax and i am escorted two men who bring me down a corridor . A long corridor . Longer than the queue in the McDonalds at Christmas. We come to a large door . Bolbi tries to grabz my hand but I hit him in the face and walk in our apartment . The room looks very modern. And there are AVOX waitresses . One I think I recognize her from the soup kitchen of the McDonalds . She was the one who gave me the wrong order, I have not seen her since that day . I wonder whyshe went for this career . I ignore anyone who talks to me because I have no time for this nonsense . I walk into my room . On my bedside table I see a kind of remote control . I pick it up and rub it against my cheek. It's still warm. I wonder what the fuck it is . Could it have something to do with nuggets ? My question is answered when I turn around . I see a huge bear biggie printer stand . DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN . It is an ink machine thingy. Those are rare . It is said that in the capitol or 820 printer ink companies that produce ink for the people in all the district . It has also been said that every citizen of Panem is a district in itself because they have about 12 tons of nuggets to pay to print one paper . When I needed 1 paper with ink as a consumer when I had to talk about the pros and cons (especially disadvantages ha ha ) of the Big Mac it was my mother who had to sell my sister to three men in order to pay for the ink . It was however worth it because I got an A. Anyway , so I click on the remote control and the walls around me begin to vibrate . Suddenly spray ink starts fucking coming from all the holes in the wall and I start to tapdance . Then I run away and tell everyone that the AVOX girl is responsible . She is carried away by five men which one of them holds an ax . Mhmm . It reminds me of the time I took an ax to the McDonalds there to scare a man who once asked if he could borrow the Ketchup.

That evening we eat called a feast that I really only like a rehash of the culinary things McDonalds always gives me . Purree dirty potato with beans . Give me rather a McMuffin . With additional butter . But not too much. Just some extra butter . Bolbi stares at me throughout the whole meal and I 'm getting fucking scared . What 's wrong with this guy. Why can not he just be so great as Maikel McSchumacher . He's my best friend . We both love Kpop and McDonalds .

The next morning I wake up with a noise that sounds like : I WANT TO SCREAM AND SHOUT AND LET IT ALL OUT . I walk into the living room . I can not believe my eyes when I suddenly there for me will. . see stand . BRING THE FCUKING ACTION .


	4. Chapter 4

Suddenly I'm on the fucking cold ground. OOOOOH. OOOOOOH. '' Will. . troub-AND BRITNEY BITCH.'' Suddenly Britney Spears starts yelling at me. What the diddly do is this. She grabs my braid and draggs me along the ground, through the first floor of the apartment, the second floor, and the elevator to the third floor. We now are underground. '' Hey Marina MKnevel I'm your stylist.'' I look at her ugliness. Nuggets would not eat her for sure.

I look around me and Bolbi is nowhere to be seen . Suddenly I'm naked , and Britney is undressing , just like when a McWrapp is unwrapped .

'' Yes if you want to win the hunger games you have to make sure that the people like you. BY STRIPPING . Welcome to a pole dancing lesson . '' At that moment Bolbi walkes inside while wearing a boa . Just a boa . On his crown jewels.

'' Where's my dick ... er stick. I meant stick . '' He's blushing like a baby banana .

'' The fuckery pole is right over there you lil shizzle . '' Birtney says .

I 'm hyperventilating . This happens to me quite often in stressful situations . There is only one difference between then and now. Now I have no nuggets . Normally when Im almost knocked out I'm pushing nuggets against my nose and then everything is okay. I sigh five times hard . I see everything turn black before my eyes . Blacker than the miners of District 12 . Blacker than my McNuggets - Soul . Blacker than the eye of the man who I hit with an axe when he asked me if he could borrow the ketchup . I feel weightless and im beginning to fall . Slowly . SLOWEEEEEEEELY. IN BLIND PANIC I GRAB THE THING THAT MY HANDS FIRST ENCOUNTER . I cling to it. All power Omg . For half a second I thought it might be the thirteen pound balls of Bolbi , or botox lips of Britney . But no . No, what I find myself clinging to is a pole. A dance pole . So I do the most obvious thing to do in such a situation IM ROCKING THE MOTHER FUCKING STAGE BBY . I dance the stars from the sky . I hope the Capitol this filming this because i am fabulous . Maybe i do can manage without the nuggets ... nah . But i do motherfucking rock for sure. I see Bolbi staring at me from across the room , creepy . Meanwhile, Britney hard to clap and all of this reminds me of an old song I've ever heard in history class :

Supermodel work , cover girl , work it , girl , give us a twirl

Do your thing on the runway

Work , supermodel , you better work it , girl of the world

Wet your lips and make love to the camera

In my head I sing it like a Mockingjay . Not sure which lips according to the lyrics I am meant to wet though.. I shake my head and try to stay with the lesson. Only the lesson does not stay with me. The lesson rolls away . On the sidewalk under a bus. Wait what .

I think maybe I 'm a little dizzy after that run 420 laps around . It feels like I'm floating . And float . To the horizon and ottoman in McDonalds . I feel I have to laugh . I fall to the ground , but it does not hurt . It feels like I 've landed on a bed full of nuggets . I feel the sauce . Sauce surrounded me , I feel it. Red sauce. I get my hand through it, and rub through my hair . Suddenly I realize that it is blood and I am on a stretcher. Is this how they will remember the girl who almost died pole dancing ?


End file.
